The 2nd dad under the spotlight is Justin from Alldadstalk discussing how life went from chasing his career dreams to sharing life with one, nearly two children and his wife Aly in their search for true happiness.
Justin not long to go until baby number 2, how’s everything going if you need to cut this short I’m sure people will understand.
Haha Amelie is just about to join us after enjoying some rent free time in my wife’s perfect bump. She’ll meet our true threenager Lucas who is now 3 and a half who is smart and very kind. He’s also a real tester of or parenting limits :)
With Amelie not far off does it bring back memories of last time? Were you there to welcome Lucas to the world?
I wasn’t there at the birth of Lucas as my wife Aly @AllMumsTalk, had her mother with her but as soon as I saw my son, it was the best feeling in the world. We really created a team.
I follow you on Instagram and Lucas’ pictures are amazing. How’s fatherhood been so far? Getting any sleep yet?
OMG I miss my 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Life’s been equally exhausting and unbelievably beautiful and it’s changed so much. Not only have I given up smoking but the idea of a perfect career is very different. Being a solicitor is a lot trickier than I thought it would be.
You know about my writing on work life balance, how are you getting on?
Balancing is difficult, I would love flexible hours and working from home more often would make it easier but that’s not happenening.
As well as work, what difficulties and challenges have you faced so far?
My wife and I both have different thoughts and methods around parenting which ended up giving us a stronger bond and relationship. We’ve also experienced the blues of miscarriage between our two pregnancies. Finance has always been a tricky part of family life and the very reason you need to think twice when it comes to career conversions. But supporting each other the way we can is very beneficial long term speaking. Aly has been undergoing a huge change from a job she used to love and a great workplace to working full time mainly from home. I’m trying to support her as much as I can, the income and bills are always the fun part at the end of the month, but hopefully long term we’ll both make it.
It’s also been so difficult with the lack of sleep but also watching my partner really struggle with no sleep.
Sounds like you’re both working as a great team. Have you received any external support or help?
As a parent there’s always good days when I enjoy parenthood and I feel I’m doing an amazing job, there are also days when I have no clue of how I got here and whether I’m the best role model for my children. Getting my own support is something I never thought about, however I’ve seen how aly found so much support from the mum audience in her allmumstalk project, the very reason I decided I should give alldadstalk a chance too. Met and talked with lots of cool dads ever since
I hope I’m in that hall of fame :) A lack of support has been a common theme. Have you done anything or plan to do anything to help other dads?
I like to believe that I’m already playing a little part in this as we are about to launch allmums.shop which will mainly be a platform to support family startups, all mums’ and dads’ brilliant ideas. Will share more soon as we are still trying to develop the platform.
What would you say to those becoming dads for the first time?
Go for what your gut tells you. Often you know better. Have a daily routine with your child, for example every night when I come home before bedtime, I have an hour of chasing the toddler around while doing our own little tricks and magic for the other around us (usually just mummy). Don’t lose this connection you create early in life with your child. It’s priceless. Always make time.
It’s amazing how quickly time flies! You really do have to cherish every moment. You also need to laugh and Dorothy makes us do this on a regular basis. What’s been your funniest moment?
Lucas is bilingual and often mixes two languages which sometimes turns out to be a very rude or funny sentence constructions. I seriously can’t give you an example, too risky :)) but I can say the nursery staff always has stories to tell us when picking him up.
Haha incredible! Dorothy knows sign language and a few signs are quite naughty looking.
If I was in a meeting and I asked you to pitch to me being a dad, what would you say?
Watching them grow and absorb knowledge from every little thing around us is the best experience ever. They really make us remember about the importance of slow living once in a blue moon. Being a dad is glorious!
We couldn’t agree more. Thanks to Justin and good luck with the upcoming birth of Amelie. An amazing reward after a hard time. Follow Justin on Instagram he has a great account and you can find him here: http://instagram.com/alldadstalk and thanks to @annapawleta for the amazing images.