4 Useful Tips for Getting Support When You Need It

As a corporate dad, I’m aware of how my personal issues can affect my working life.

This isn’t a post littered with pictures for a change but some very important issues and how to deal with them. However much you try, sometimes you just can’t stop problems at home, showing in the office. I used to segment my personal and work life but I find it increasingly difficult to keep one separate from the other.

But what if I don’t?

Will I be discussing our baby’s poop habits half way through a client meeting?

Now I’m making light of it but there are some personal issues that can be a lot more serious than that silly example, as we know.

If you’re in a situation where you need help, you need to understand some options, all without affecting your job and putting your career in jeopardy.

Time off

Depending on the issue, you might be best just to request some time off. You might be surprised at how understanding your company are if you have a personal issue or a family matter. By blurring the lines of work/family employers know how important issues are that will keep you off and to be honest, you’re not going to be performing at your best in any case. Recently I had to speak to work about a day off to lighten the burden on Mrs P after a relentelss week of not sleeping. Employers aren’t legally required to give you time off in a situation like this so it’s important to read more about it: bereavement and compassionate leave guide.

Communicate – A problem shared and all that

You may not want to talk to someone in the office about any issues that you’re experiencing but please do, they’re human as well, even if they don’t drink coffee and have a gossip. Don’t forget HR too. They were extremely helpful with maternity as we had no idea when it was all going to happen. If you do speak with a colleague or peer they might pass you on to HR. This isn’t because they don’t care but rather because this is one of the primary roles of human resources. It’s their job to make sure that workers are happy and aren’t too stressed. If you are having difficulty separating personal issues from the job, you might find it useful to talk to someone. HR are lovely, compassionate and human. Well most of the time ;)

Speak to A Professional

I’m not a doctor but there might be a case for medical help when a personal issue if it’s affecting your work. Emotional issues can have numerous physical effects such as raised blood pressure and the ongoing stress can start a snowball of problems. This can be detrimental to your health, particularly when it’s added on to typical stressful situations at work, home or personal. As such, it might be in your best interest to speak to a doctor. You might be reluctant to accept treatment, but some people do need help getting through times like this. There’s no shame in that, and your health should be the top priority. It’s amazing what something like a vitamin deficiency can do to your body. It’s got similar symptoms as major health issues! Sort it out!

You’re not Alone

The bottom line is that at a time like this you do need support. Otherwise, you’re going to find the issue affects your health, your job and even your family. Don’t let this happen to you because you were afraid to ask for the support that you needed. It felt lonely not sleeping properly, commuting, going to work, getting Dorothy to eat, bath then bed. Then my turn to sleep and start again in the morning. I was alone in all this because when can you have “your time”. Well it’s simpler than you think. I found “The Dad Network” and they’ve been a godsend. It’s amazing what a simple glance at a notification can do mid day. From boosting your self esteem to supporting a hard decision. There’s groups everywhere for support be you mummy, daddy sister, brother or whoever you are. Here’s a link to my lifeline and take a look: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheDadNetwork/

So, main point is look after yourself! You’re not alone in this and if you work hard both at home and in your corporate life you’ll burn out and be as useful as a chocolate fireguard.

 

[highlight] If you’ve got any tips, support groups or kind word, please comment for all the see.[/highlight]

 

  • I think the most important point is to learn to communicate what you need. If you don’t tell anyone noone can help you!

    • Communication is so important not just to work or friends but those at home too X thanks for your comment.

  • Moments like this make it all worth while

  • John Milnes

    Confiding in someone is always a hard one when it comes to dealing with work/professional issues. Even when at Uni they tried to explain that when trying to resolve your issues, try not share too much details, unless you trust the person you confide in. You have shared great and valid points.

    Thank you for Sharing

    John M

    • Thanks John. I think I’m an environment like Uni where it’s survival of the fittest weakness isn’t a strength. But the support and strength in numbers is helps you win at life. Thanks for commenting phill :)

  • I think talking to people is such a huge thing and people don’t realise how much of a difference it can mean just being there for someone and listening to their problems x

    • I can think back to our NCT Class and the lads there are still supportive now.

  • Angela Milnes

    I agree with these. As a previous teacher we needed time out from time to time and some often have “mental health days” just to destress and learn to cope.

  • I think these are wonderful ideas. It really does help to have people you can talk openly with, professional or otherwise.

    • I’ve been asked about extending the Dad Network to central Manchester. I think I’m going to do it :)

  • Harriet @ Toby&Roo

    Fantastic tips – communication is the key foundation of any and all relationships!

    • It’s amazing how quickly communication breaks down

  • New reader here, love the idea of your blog. Great post!

  • Tanya Brannan

    As someone who has struggled with things in the past I can totally agree with these tips; they really will help x

  • Beautyqueenuk

    That last paragraph speaks louder than the others for me and it is true, you are never alone, even if you do feel like you are.

  • Annie Brooks

    Hardest part is holding you hands up and simply saying ‘I need help’. Life can be so hard at points but never suffer in silence.

  • Some interesting tips! Communication is so very important.

  • These are such greatg tips! Sometimes people get so scared about asking for help.

  • I agree with these tips and I find them very useful indeed. After all, we all humans and we go through similar problems, so there is no reason not to be supportive and helpful.